Another Night On The Job
by Gwyn Courtenay (lilacgirl at att.net)
Summary: Angel and Wesley saves a store clerk from becoming demon dinner.
They walked into the store, weapons carefully tucked away in their clothing like a couple of assassins. Which, they were. “This must be the place from Cordy’s vision,” Angel whispered to Wesley.
The other man noticed a young woman who was reading behind the counter. “That’s the girl,” he whispered back, “It appears we are early.”
Angel nodded, “For a change.”
Wesley started to browse and waited for the demon to come in and devour the poor girl. It took a few seconds for his mind to switch from feasting creatures to the objects he was casually looking at. “Oh my,” he dismayed, praying he wasn’t blushing several shades of red.
“You just realized we’re in a sex shop too?” Angel tried not to look at anything.
Wesley took one step away from the multi- flavored lubricates, casually brushing up against Angel’s arm. “Cordelia could have added this to her description.”
The woman behind the register spied upon them over the top of her book. They were cute.
Strolled in like dildo representatives and then quickly became little old church ladies. First time in a sex store, at least together. How they whispered to each other like they’re in a holy cathedral. Too embarrassed to say the word “plug” unless it involved doing so into a wall.
“Perhaps we should wait outside,” Angel offered.
“Yes, but what if the demon comes in though the back,” Wesley suddenly found interest in white linoleum flooring.
“One in back, one in front.” Angel realized how bad those words sounded as they stood shock still in a sex shop.
“Teleportation? Temporal disturbance?” Wesley looked at Angel, probably the first time since they entered. “We are grown men here to protect. We can’t let rainbow-coloured phalli deter us from our goal.”
The woman grinned. Despite the crimson hue, the one with glasses was spoke stern words to his lover. Something along the lines of ‘We’ve come in here and we can’t chicken out now’. And to prove his point, he picked up the nearest thing to him. Too bad it was a self-vibrating dildo. Poor guy. He’ll never touch anything again. And it’s charming how his lover tried not to laugh at him.
“You sure you don’t want to wait outside?” Angel asked after a stricken Wesley put the item back on the shelf and wiped his hand on his trouser leg. “No,” he tried to pull himself together. “I still stand by my decision. We will stay here. And not touch anything.”
Hands in his pockets, Angel nodded.
They stood silently for a few minutes before Wesley spotted something across the room. “Oh look, books.” He started across the store with Angel lagging behind.
“Yeah, but I don’t think they’ll be about prophecies or gardening.”
“Well yes, it’s better than standing awkwardly amidst…” Wesley waved to where they were, but didn’t say anything more.”
She didn’t know who to feel the most sorry for. The bespectacled one who tried in vain to shop despite his shyness. Or his lover, who wanted nothing more than to wait out in the car. She would suggest their website, but it would be calling attention to them and it’s obviously what they don’t want.
Not like she never seen embarrassed, bashful people in there before. But still, these two were adorable. Maybe it was how they acted, obviously comfortable with each other. The casual brushes of limbs. The way they spoke with glances.
Or it could be how opposite they seemed. The model-turned-porn star with his all black clothes and yummy leather coat, a man of few words, someone who’d you spend all night trying to approach at a club, just to be shot down by his intense stare.
His lover, on the other hand, looked like an accountant. Necktie handing loosely from his collar, shirt slightly rumbled under the plain brown jacket. This was your date at the club when you tried to make it with Mister Leathercoat.
Too bad they’ll never actually buy anything. It’d be nice to strike up a conversation with them. And nothing will send them out of the door quicker than an overly friendly sex store clerk.
Angel wondered if Wesley would mind if he waited outside in the car. ‘Holler if you get your intestines ripped out.’ It could be worse. He could be here with Cordelia and her ‘emotionally stunted’ and ‘eunuch’ comments. Of course, if he was here with Gunn, they’d be waiting across the street while Gunn ate chili hotdogs. No, he was stuck inside with Wesley.
“This is completely mistranslated,” Wesley’s voice broke his brooding.
Angel looked over to see him with a copy of the Kama Sutra. “It’s not the Bible, people only buy if for the pictures.”
“But still,” Wesley defended, “One expects a level of competency.”
“Wes, be glad there are words.”
The girl smiled when the accountant finally got the porn star to look at something. So it was only a book. Hell, they could do that at Barnes & Noble but hey, some people need small steps. And it was just so sweet how they stood close as the accountant pointed out stuff on the page. Now if leather boy would just put his arm around his lover’s waist or maybe just rest it on his shoulder. But she got the vibe he wasn’t big on shows of affection. This was too bad because his lover deserved it. If they weren’t standing in a sex store, no one would ever guess they were lovers. This was sad, because they seemed perfect together without hanging all over each other.
Wesley put the book back after he seriously considered writing a stern letter to the so-called translator. Wesley meandered away from the safety of books to some bondage equipment which hung on a wall not far from them. Angel followed him, “For someone who nearly went into shock from a dildo, you sure are moving fast.”
“I didn’t go into shock. It was…startling when it started to…vibrate,” Wesley’s voice died with lameness. “Besides, I was thinking these might become useful in our line of work.”
“Yeah, but I’m not the one who is putting the ball gag on Cordelia,” Angel joked.
“I was thinking more of the leather restraint jacket for you. If you were to ever lose your soul again.”
She never thought they would move from books to S&M equipment. Maybe they did a little light bondage at home.
It was cute how they teased each other. Maybe if they got comfortable enough, they would buy something, like a box of condoms, not even glow-in-the- dark ones either.
“It’s best not to think what fun I can have in a place like this without a conscious.” He glanced over to the clerk, still reading her book, “I’m not sure if I would let her live or not.”
Wesley entertained Angel’s morbid query. “I believe it would depend upon your mood and her personality. If you liked her, you wouldn’t, if she annoyed you, then you would.”
“I just hope I really don’t like her.”
“Yes, but a girl who chooses to work in such an establishment would entertain you.” At Angel’s brooding scowl, Wesley stopped his Angelus ponderings. His attention refocused to the equipment on the wall, “You’d probably prefer the black leather?”
She thought about handing them one of their badly Xeroxed catalogs when the florescent lights above started to flicker. “What the hell?” she said.
All the lights went out in the store, leaving it almost pitch black. Woo-Hoo! She gets to close the shop early and go home. But her elation was short lived when something coiled around her neck and began to squeeze and lift her off of her feet.
She was surprised she wasn’t panicking instead she wished she could reach the tranquilizer gun under the counter. She hoped the couple got out okay. She thought about the really cool story she could tell when she got to the afterlife. “How did I die? Oh, was strangled to death by a demon in a sex emporium. You?”
But before she could wonder if that was an appropriate story for her grandmother, she was dropped to the floor. Trying to breathe, she ended up coughing like some nitwit in a bad horror flick.
Something was at her side and before she could kill it, it spoke, “Are you all right?”
He had a soft, English voice and laid a hand on her shoulder. It was the accountant. Oh Gods, that made him even more adorable. English and coming to aid the damsel in distress.
Trying to say something witty was abandoned for more fits of wheezing and fierce nodding. What happened to the monster, anyway? Saw overly-sized penises and ran off?
Wesley helped the woman stand as her coughing seemed to ease. “What happened?” she rasped out.
“You were attacked,” Wesley explained the best he could.
Poor guy. First time in a sex store and gets to see a demon try to devour someone. The sex novelty industry has lost a customer for life. “What… Where…” She took a minute and actually formed a sentence he might be able to answer, “Why did it let go? Why am I not dead?”
“We killed it,” he told her.
“You?” she didn’t mean to gasp. And where was his leather clad partner? And lights would be nice. Oh wait, there’s a moving dark shadow, is that him or another demon?
“We specialize in this type of work,” came his carefully worded reply.
“Work?” she could physically feel her IQ drop, but she did lose oxygen to her brain for a few seconds.
Before he had a chance to answer, the lights came back on to reveal his lover standing over the body of the demon, with a sword covered in orange goo. “Oh,” she said, “you’re demon hunters.” She felt really stupid for taking so long to figure it out. “Thank Gods you were here.” She paused, “Or did you guys know it was coming?”
“We have sources,” Wesley told her.
“Oh,” she watched the sword wielding killer move to the door and lock it. “Good idea. Don’t want late night swingers coming in here and gazing upon a oozing corpse. Do you guys need trash bags?” The girl was either emotionally strong or was suffering from severe shock. After quickly recovering from her near death experience, she helped them clean up the demon, provided trash bags and even a mop. “It’s the least I can do,” she told them walking back from the alley dumpster. “You guys saved my life; I can at least help you scoop up entrails.”
“How did you learn about demons?” Wesley asked her.
“When I started working here. Every Tuesday after midnight is Demons Only Night. Most of them are okay, even a little fun. But the vampires still bother me. I like my demons green with horns and maybe a tail. But vampires, you really can’t tell. And it wouldn’t bug me so much if they weren’t inherently evil. They look at me and see takeout on legs.”
Walking back into the shop, Wesley and Angel exchanged glances, but nothing was said. “I can’t pay you cash, since I don’t own the store,” the girl was still talking, going behind the register. She began to fill out something in a small book, like a check. “But I can give you this.” She tore it free and handed it to Wesley. His initial pleasure at receiving money was short lived when he noticed it wasn’t a check, but a gift certificate. “I know it’s next to nothing, especially when you two saved by life, but,” she shrugged. “It’s either that or the three dollars I have in my wallet.”
“You don’t need to do anything. This is what we do.” Angel told her.
Wesley neatly folded the piece of paper and slipped it into his wallet. Taking out a business card, he handed to her. “This is our agency. If you have any problems with demons or the occult in the future, feel free to call us.”
“Thanks,” she slipped the card into her pocket and went about to gather her stuff. They walked her out of the store and waited as she locked the front doors. “Again,” she said and shook each of their hands. “Thanks for saving my life. And,” she paused, wondering if she should really say something. “And don’t be afraid of your relationship. You two are the cutest couple I’ve seen all week.” Not waiting for their reply, she walked away to her car.
They stood still for a moment and watched her drive away. “Did she…” Wesley began but was unable to finish.
“Think we’re gay, yeah.” Angel replied and moved to the convertible. “We should be used to it by now.”
“No, not that,” Wesley moved into the passenger seat. “Think we’re cute?”
“Well, she’s been through a lot of trauma tonight.” He looked long at Wesley, then focused his attention on driving. “It’s best if we don’t think about it.”
“Her trauma or us being cute?”
“Both.” Angel was silent for a few blocks, then turned, “Were we being cute?”